confessions of a financial planner

My finance coach Randell Tiongson sent me this letter. Thought it would be good to post it here (with his permission). Randell is a sought after Financial Speaker and Planner. He also looks good everytime he wears his green scarf. Anyway read on...


My wife Mia and I went on a date last night. Since my wife loves to watch movies and the secret to a happy life is a happy wife, I instinctively knew that she would prefer watching a movie. I thought my wife would prefer watching the John Lloyd – Sarah Geronimo movie so I was trying to psyche myself already but I was so delighted to find out she wanted to watch something else. My wife knew I’m not a big fan of those movies so she was wanted to watch something else for my sake, that’s one of the many reasons I love my wife so much – so unselfish! Not wanting to be a total jerk by asking her to watch an action movie, I suggested to meet half way. As a result, we ended up watching the movie “Confessions of a Shopaholic”. I was actually intrigued by it because my daughter Gabbie said it was a great movie while my daughter Billie liked the book.

How was the movie? It was awesome! In fact, I recommend everyone reading this to watch the movie. Watching the movie is like attending a financial literacy seminar, only more amusing, more relevant and actually more effective. The plot revolves around a character name Rebecca Bloomwood (brilliantly portrayed by Isla Fisher) who has an exaggerated spending problem and ended up being a columnist for a personal finance magazine. The main character represented many of us, albeit in a humorously exaggerated way. We live in a society that is afflicted with a debilitating disease called ‘consumerism’. This burden has manifested itself to a ‘spending problem’ resulting many of us to live a life of debt – a life that robs us from experiencing a life of true freedom and a life of victory.

As a financial planner myself, I was endeared with the character in the movie. Her column gives out a lot of practical and great personal advice and has a lot of followers, despite her financial life being in complete havoc. Well, I wouldn’t say I’m exactly like Ms. Bloomfield in the sense that I don’t really have a shopping addiction and I’m not too sure if I do have many followers. While my financial life is not in havoc, it is far from being ideal. Many times, I find myself ‘preaching’ to myself whenever I write or speak. It’s not very wise for someone like me to say that I don’t have an ‘ideal’ financial life but I want people to know that I too experience the difficulties of putting my financial life in order. I went through a lot of mistakes that I have been trying to rectify. I was also afflicted with a spending problem that nearly left me in ruins. I made so much mistakes I later on regretted which I wrote about in this column many months ago. But… I learned from those mistakes and I am in a very long process of rectification. What is crucial is the realization of one’s problem and the resolution to learn from them, and have a lasting solution for them.

I do not only write or speak from a theoretical view, I am writing from painful personal experiences. We can’t ‘undo’ many things we have done, but it doesn’t matter anymore as what’s done is done. Like anything in our lives, we must learn to stand when we fall, rise when we stumble. In doing so, we become more resilient, stronger and most importantly, wiser.

Here’s a wise advice – to really fix a problem, go to the source of the problem. When I found myself with a financial burden, I tried many ways to ‘fix’ them but I noticed that while some of those remedies may work, most of them do not permanently solve the problem. Like many ‘solutions’ we concoct of, I found myself applying mostly short term or ‘band-aid’ solutions. If we have a financial problem or a spending problem, we should determine the root cause of the problem. Is it the lack of income or the way we spend? Why do we spend the way we spend? In my case, I got into a financial mess because I had a ‘want’ issue: I wanted this, I wanted that. It wasn’t just for me, it was for my family too... but it was a ‘want’ problem nonetheless. Over the years, my ‘wants’ became bigger and bigger and I found myself doing everything just so I can satisfy my ‘wants’. It didn’t really feel wrong at that time, in fact some people might even say that it helped motivate me to work harder and harder. In retrospect, I now know it was very foolish of me not to have stopped my insatiable desire to want more and more. I am glad that I came into my senses and was able to curb my ‘want’ issues. I guess those desires are still there as I am only human but I have developed a strong will power to overcome them.

How was I able to overcome my weaknesses? Simple. I merely re-examined what is really important in my life. Do I want to impress others because of what I have… or do I want others pleased with me because of my character? Do I want to please my family with a life that I can hardly afford and as a result become a pre-occupied husband or father… or do I want my family to be pleased with me because I am a real and approachable head of the family for them, always there when they need me? Do I want people to listen to me because of what I have accomplished… or do I want people to have hope that they can have a good future by learning from the mistakes that I chose not to hide?

In the end, I chose what really was more important. I chose to have a meaningful relationship with what really is important in my life -- my family and my savior, Jesus Christ. In doing so, I found a permanent solution to my deeply rooted ‘want’ problems – the cause of my financial fall.

I fell down, I stood up but I know I’ll fall down again – all these happen because God is molding something that is very important in me, my character. “…but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” – Romans 5:3-4 (NIV). Our character will determine our future, even our financial future.

These are my confessions.

* J. Randell Tiongson is Personal Finance Coach & Educator and the President and COO of Personal Finance Advisers Philippines Corporation. He is a director of the Registered Financial Planning Institute Philippines and has been engaged in the various facets of the Financial Services Industry for two decades. He is also the co-founder of www.income-tacts.com, an inter-active site dedicated to the financial literacy of every Pinoy. For inquiries on training, speaking engagements financial planning and consultancy, you may send an e-mail to randellt@gmail.com.